What a year, What a week

 

I thank God so much for brining me to Daniels 2 and Hope Brisbane, its been quite a journey this year for me. I’ve never cried so much(you won’t see it cause I do when no one is around) and had so much joy at the same time, I’ve also gone through times when I really questioned things. But through it all God has kept me, and has been building me up.

This year has been a year of change for me, and with this change has come pains, the changes are sure to keep coming. This week I’ve learnt some very good lessons, but they are also very basic ones. I had learnt many things from God during the year, but then I’d have times where I would start to doubt that I was good enough, or wonder if God was really with me. I started to ask, where are you God I really wanted to hear him, I wondered to myself, how can i tell the difference between my own thought and what God is telling me?? This started to bother me because then I thought, well if I’m not hearing from God then he mustn’t be with me… you can see how these kind of thoughts would make a Christian feel uncomfortable. So I brought them before God and asked Him why I was having these times of doubt and other times where things where all good, cause I really felt like I was being tossed back and forth at times. I got the answer “My Promises” to which I knew God was telling me, your like this because your not putting full faith in my promises, trust in my word ( i knew them but I’d often count myself unworthy or for some reason think I was excluded). You know all during this time I still had the desire to spread the gospel so I went to word book store and got myself a eband and I saw this book called “victory in Christ”, I purchased the book and found that it confirmed that part of victory is trusting in His promises.

You know what is amazing about this whole experience, I found God proved to be true to me even when I had doubts, so much grace abounds. I even went up to the front to be prayed for two weeks ago and Gerald was telling me that God see’s my heart, knows my doubts and that he is also pleased with my heart (I wondered what’s there to be pleased about). That week I’d also asked God to give me a verse to comfort me and It was Isaiah 43 which was on the board in the last prayer meeting, not to mention Ray talking about someone asking the very same questions I was asking that very week in my head. I had also prayed at some point asking God where he was and he told me “I Am with you always”. So now instead of always trying to much, I am trusting more. I’ve learnt to trust God more this week, and to trust Him even in times when He doesn’t seem close because I take him at His word and he told me “I Am with you always”. This seems like such a basic thing to me, I’ve know all along about faith, but now I’ve been taught about it.